. . .even in the unknown
Unknown - n; a place, situation, or thing that is not known or understood; a situation that one is unfamiliar with
Raise your hand if this is where you are right now?!
I've come to figure out - only took nearly two weeks - that this is what I've really been feeling towards this craziness going on in our world. I was "feeling" angry, frustrated, disappointed and worried; but the root of it all is NOT KNOWING.
This week our MT Governor put an end date on the school closures - April 10 - and since then I've been feeling like I can breathe again! I was really worried that this was going to be the end of the school year. I am not a homeschooler, but that really hasn't been that bad since our teachers are AMAZING! And yes, because being cooped up indoors with three rowdy boys is rough (if you don't know MT springs then trust me, it's not always nice enough to be outside). But mainly because my boys LOVE school and I know part of that is the social aspect. And don't you remember the end of the school year for you? The excitement of making summer plans and comparing summer plans. And then there are always lots of fun things planned in the spring, like field trips and getting outside to learn. I mean the end of the school year is just plain fun!
Now I know that there are seniors that are missing their graduation ceremonies, I know there are people who are having much bigger issues than me and my family. BUT - and yes, it's a big one - we ALL have different levels of "hard."
To the world, my "hard" (struggling with all this unknown) may look like a little scratch, but in my season, in my family and in my heart, there's a deep bruise throbbing under that little scratch.
I was listening to the sixth episode of Christy Wright's "Hope in the Chaos" series on Instagram and her guest had an experience where someone called her out, essentially that she should be grateful for what she has as some people would love to have that. But that thing for her, personally, is a big deal, which is fine - or should be fine. And they further explained it this way:
"One person's loss may not be as bad as someone else's, but it is still very real for them. Letting people simultaneously feel grateful for what they have but sad for what they lost and letting them know that to feel two things that are conflicting is ok, is very powerful."
(I've paraphrased a bit; I couldn't write and listen cohesively)
But isn't that the truth? My biggest takeaway from a lot of the podcasts and videos I've watched over the past week have had a similar consensus of just letting people know it's ok to let yourself feel "all the things" in this time of uncertainty. We need to let ourselves acknowledge those feelings and dig for the WHY but then work on not getting stuck there.
Ok - off my soapbox.
So how can we be brave in all of this unknown and uncertainty?
Kindness over chaos.
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. ~ Colossians 3:12
It starts in our thoughts, right? But even going so far as to what we're feeding our thoughts.
When I realized that a lot of my anxiety was fueled by what I was reading, I deleted Facebook off my phone. Now when I scroll through, if/when I see something and I can feel that anger starting to rise, I shut it down. Close the app, put my phone down and find something more constructive to occupy my mind with.
The next step in choosing kindness over chaos is offering encouragement. Even if it's overly encouraging your kids when they are struggling with doing schoolwork at home. Or find a friend or two you can periodically check in with; tell them something funny that's happened and ask them to do the same. Bake/cook for someone - maybe a neighbor; or heck, just to fill your freezer with goodies as we look forward to summertime! It's OK to boost your own morale and chances are you'll be able to boost someone else's because you did it for yourself. Write notes or make cards to someone who is still working during this crisis; doctors, nurses, grocery store clerks, truck drivers, delivery guys - the people that are sticking with these jobs so we can still have what we need.
One of my favorite FBA {FarmBoyApproved} recipes to make lots of & share with friends!
While I think these are the two most important things to me - checking my thoughts and serving others - each as so many different facets and I could go on and on, but I'm sure you get the vibe I'm sending out.
Let yourself feel what you're feeling, write it down, pray over it - let it go. And then send your focus outside of yourself to help both those around you, which will, in turn, help you to feel lighter as well.
I would love to hear how you are choosing Kindness Over Chaos during this time! I have very good friends that work in the local hospital and my boys are working on drawing them thank you cards for all of their hard work. And while I'm not a very outgoing person, I do try to make a point in sincerely thanking the grocery store workers, too.
